Having Patience

I was hoping to be holding our little baby by this date...my due date. But, alas, no baby yet. We are still eagerly awaiting. BUT, with Albert off today (although he is going into work) I am taking advantage of some pampering for myself. We headed off to the park for a little play time with Audrey, then on to the mall for time for me. Albert took Audrey to the play area and all the other "fun" spots around the mall, mostly the mechanical rides, which for Audrey never move (why spoil the imagination??). I headed to get a pedicure. I don't pamper myself in this way much, the last time was over 3 years ago when I was pregnant with Audrey. It's a great way to relax. I loved it, and wonder why I don't do it more often. Oh yes, I'm too cheap! After my pedicure, it's a must to stop for an Aun*tie An*ne's pretzel. Now, with my tummy satisfied and my feet happy, the day has been worthwhile, even if I'm not holding my little baby (although it is only 12:30).

Daddy's Girl

I just love the way Audrey looks at Albert. Sometimes I find myself just watching the two of them interact. They are so silly. This picture captures the two of them well. Their beautiful blue eyes, and the adoring look on Audrey's face. Our world lights up when Daddy comes home.

Wide Awake

It's almost 4am, and I've been wide awake for over an hour. This has become the trend in recent days. I am tired and willing to go back to sleep, but my body is preparing me for days when baby is up at all hours of the night. It's during these moments that I start to think...when will this baby come? I've been trying to keep myself occupied, and have done a fairly good job...during the day. It's these early hours of the morning that hit me the hardest. What else is there to think about? I usually end up spending some of this time in prayer. Praying for what? Praying for the baby to come, patience, for my body to fall back to sleep so that I won't have a difficult day with my daughter, and praying that I can focus on other things so that these days don't feel like eternity. I feel so self-focused. It's all I think about. Albert is working so hard at school trying to get everything ready for the start of the school year (sept. 4th) and I'm more worried about the idea of him not being able to spend a full week with me once this baby comes. I know in my head things will all work out, they always do, but my heart has a hard time fully believing that. Isn't that how it often is in our Christian walk? Do we TRULY believe that God knows and wants what is best for us - not that it means it will be easy or painless? Do I truly believe that God has a plan for my small family, and he's orchestrating every detail? I want to shout YES, but honestly I can't. Why? When time and time again God has proven himself? It's such a battle within myself, and with God. I seek to gain that control that only he can possess. How could I want that, with a mind so finite? I fool myself into thinking I know better...a true fool. Soon enough I will be holding this precious child in my arms, even at 4 am, thankful that God has all things in HIS time.

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Audrey is the talker in this house, from the time she wakes up to the time she goes down. She just turned 3, and has much to say.

When Albert returned a meal at a restaurant...
Waitress: (to Albert) Can I get you something to eat while you wait?
Audrey: I want anything!
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Audrey had been calling swim goggles "sun glasses", so I corrected her yesterday telling her they were goggles.
Audrey: OH YEAH, Gobbles
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Another great hymn sung by a toddler... Amazing Grace
"...was blind, I don't know, I see..."

Head over to Mary's for more Tiny Talk Tuesdays. Thanks for stopping by.

Ah Patience!

I am trying desperately to teach patience to my daughter. There are days she does really well, and other days I wonder if she's ever heard me. Then yesterday rolled around. Yes, it was Audrey's birthday, it should be a day filled with fun, laughter, and excitement. She certainly had all of those elements as part of her day, but there was also frustration, yelling, disrespect, and even lack of patience - and I contributed to most of that! The day started early, after a night of not sleeping well for me. Audrey was ready for the day at 6:30 (like Mary, that's early for me), but on top of that I had been awake for no apparent reason from 3-5:30. So, I had finally fallen back to sleep when my darling birthday girl came in to wake me for the day. I was not ready....I don't think I ever recovered. I was frustrated and irritated at anything she did that was the least bit of a "bother" for me. By 12:30 we were both spent for the day. She needed a nap badly, and so did I. With afternoon plans, I was hopeful it would be better. For the most part, it was. It was one of those "why was I created to be a mom" days...and what was worse, it was on my daughter's birthday. After venting about the day to Albert, I realized how much I contributed to our day. I need that very lesson of patience that I teach Audrey. It was MY day, when God probably thought, "Does she hear anything I am saying?". I am waiting for this baby to come, surviving with little sleep, and trying to take care of a preschooler. It can certainly be tiring, but doesn't warrant my behavior. I owe Audrey a huge apology, and am hopeful today (after a full nights sleep...AND her sleeping in) that we will have a much better day.

My Birthday Girl

Audrey's THREE today! I can't believe it. Where did the time go? Yet, has she really only been around for 3 years? Did I really know a life without her? So strange to think of that. She's a wonderful part of our family. She is full of energy, words, and questions. All of which can be overwhelming at times, but I wouldn't change a thing. She has deep compassion, wanting everyone to be happy. "Mommy does that make you happy?" or "That baby is crying, why is she sad?" It's so sweet to see this characteristic in a young child. She certainly has taught me or had me stop to think in her short life. It's so wonderful how God uses even the smallest of us to teach us great lessons.

Audrey is a blessing to us. We love her excitement about the littlest things in life, and her love for people. It's been so much fun seeing the world through her eyes. She's growing into a precious little preschooler, soaking everything in along the way. I am so thankful to have the opportunity to stay at home with her (and this new baby coming).

We celebrated her birthday this past Sunday, with just a few family members. She got some fun instruments..did I mention her love of music - the girl sings nonstop. With the possibility of sharing her birthday with her new little brother or sister, we're keeping this year's birthday events fairly low-key. Happy Birthday, sweet Audrey! Mommy and Daddy love you so much!

Audrey at 1 week

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Audrey is the talker in this house, from the time she wakes up to the time she goes down. She'll be 3 this month, and has much to say.

While watering plants with me.
Audrey: Mommy, don't water me!
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Audrey: Mommy, I have heartburn.
(I guess I've verbalized my discomfort quite a bit)
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While in the car, playing with her toy phone.
Audrey: Uh, yeah, I gotta go I think I'm in the car.
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Grammy was trying to help feed Audrey by making a game. You know, the typical train, airplane, etc... coming and they are supposed to open their mouth. Audrey likes to play this normally, and Grammy has the patience.

Grammy: Here comes the ______ open wide (as she brings the food closer to Audrey's mouth).
Audrey: No! Shoo-fly!
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Grammy: Audrey, are you going to eat that?
Audrey: Huh?
Grammy: Are you deaf?
Audrey: What?
Grammy: What did I say?
Audrey: I am deaf?

(selective hearing at its best!)

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Lady in Waiting

Here I am, week 38 and 3 days. I have just under two weeks left, and I'm anxiously awaiting my baby's arrival. Last week I was saying to myself, "maybe it'll be today" but then continuously disappointed that nothing was happening. After a discussion with my husband about my hopes that this baby comes early, we agreed that it wasn't up to us, and we had to wait patiently for the Lord's perfect timing. It's hard for me to surrender that idea that the Lord has perfect timing, when in my finite mind I thought perfect timing was LAST week. You see, my mom, sister AND husband are all teachers. So, they are all going back to work this week. How ideal would it have been to have this baby without any of them worrying about taking time off. Albert has several duties unrelated to teaching that have to be done for the school this year due to moving into a new building. For him, it would be best (at this point) to have the baby on or even, dare I say, AFTER the due date. We want a healthy baby, and know that the wait is well worth it. I am reminded of Phil. 4:6 and continue to make that my daily prayer, making my request known to God.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

My Good Eater

Audrey has always been a great eater. At 1 she would eat everything and more off her plate. She is still a great eater, although she's figured out that some things she doesn't like, and some things she wants to "pretend" she doesn't like until realizing dessert is on the line, or that she's done eating for the REST OF THE NIGHT. We have had a number of occasions recently when she's been offered something "better" and instead wanted more salad. We were with friends, and she was offered spaghetti O's. This is not something we serve in our house, but I figured all kids like them, so thought she would also. I couldn't have been more wrong. She wanted nothing to do with spaghetti o's, she wanted the salad, and then she wanted more salad. I forced her to eat several bites of the spaghetti o's out of respect to our friend, all the while wondering how silly that must sound. "No more salad until you eat another bite of your spaghetti o's." We had another similar incident last night. It was an "easy meal" night...frozen pizza with salad. She ate her one piece of pizza, and wanted that salad. We know her well enough to know not to give her cherry tomatoes until AFTER the main meal...she wouldn't eat the main meal otherwise - even pizza. So we waited for that purpose, but did not expect that she'd then want THREE helpings of salad and no more pizza. Good thing we waited until she was finished with her pizza. No fights there. Her birthday party is coming up this weekend, just a family get together, and I'm half tempted to serve just a LARGE fruit bowl with a side of salad, since that's her favorite. I would normally expect to serve hot dogs with macaroni and cheese, and some kind of mild veggie, but not for this girl. Oh, and she would much prefer a Popsicle or fruit pop over ice cream....where did she come from?? OH YEAH!

Tribute to my Sister

Today is my sister's birthday. We are 12 months and 3 days apart. As most sisters, we are very different, yet we share so much. We have shared our lives together, and experience many of the same emotions. We are no where near the same stage in life, but that doesn't keep us apart, nor does it keep us from having things to talk or laugh about. We still share so much with each other, and enjoy the time we have together. We can talk about nothing, or things that are heavy on our hearts, it's the wonderful thing about sisters. When life gets busy again in the fall, we may not see as much of each other, but that won't keep us from being friends. There have been times in our life when we haven't been as close (more so due to proximity rather than a desire to spend time together), but being that we share a family we still saw each other occasionally...even if only during holidays.

Becca is a deeply caring, thoughtful, and giving person. She has great passions for life, is artistic, and is a goal setter and achiever. She's especially competitive, and can motivate others. She has lots of personal opinions, loves to play games, sleep, and hang out with her husband. Most of all, she loves the Lord. I am honored to have her as my sister, and share so much of my life's memories with her.

I am so thankful for you, Becca! Happy Birthday.

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Audrey is the talker in this house, from the time she wakes up to the time she goes down. She'll be 3 this month, and has much to say.

Audrey sings all the time, but often doesn't know the correct words.

Audrey: "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty early in the morning my song shall rise to THREE"
(We like to believe she has a profound understanding of the trinity.)
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While in the Dr. office for my prenatal visits.
Audrey: Look, I have a boo-boo (sticking out her finger to show the midwife)
Midwife: (in sympathy) Aww, yes, you do!
Audrey: It's ok. God is healing it.
(I love the honesty and openness of children)
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Audrey: What something fun will we do when I wake up?
(love the use of grammar)

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Turning 30

I did it, I made it, I'm now 30 years old! Do I feel it? Yep, I feel even older. All I wanted for my birthday was an afternoon nap, and some time for scrapbooking. No shopping, no long walks, no big party plans (although I did have a wonderful time with friends and family at a "surprise" get together - see a few pictures here)...just a nice relaxing day. Sounds like the wish of a much older, less energetic person, but that's me these days. It takes me several tries to get out of a chair, and usually end up needing assistance if it's available. It takes everything in me to even roll out of bed, and once I do I have a strong desire/need for a walker. I certainly don't feel young at heart, but with the growing belly and pressure of gravity I guess it's to be expected. I think that once I have this baby I will feel younger and feel like I'm still in my twenties, although thirty really isn't that old.

Who I want to be

My dear husband just created a post about his current job, which he loves. Check it out here. It inspired me to write about MY full-time job, a Mom. Now, I know in the months to come this will be changing, my regular routine of mom-hood will be thrown out the window and I'll be taking each day as they come. BUT, despite these changes I'll still aspire to be the best Mom that I can...raising my children to be God loving and fearing little and not-so-little people.

Albert and I were recently having a discussion about our jobs. He talks about his job, the love of it, often and is often found reading books to further himself in knowledge about his content area. I too love my job, and am often found reading books about my content area, and how to better myself while helping to train our children. Unfortunately, I didn't always love my current job. I wanted to desperately to go back to accounting, a job that required nothing out of the ordinary, came with routine, and there was even a policy manual put into place. I knew exactly what to expect in a day. I think I can count on one hand, probably less, the number of times some "wrench" was thrown into my day unexpectedly. I loved it, although I must admit I didn't read books about this content area....BORING! Go from that to complete chaos, needless to say, I didn't handle it well. I wondered why God had done this to me, and if there was any way I could get out of this Mommying thing...I just wasn't cut out for it. With time, much crying, and prayer God lead me through one of the most challenging times in my life, having a child.

That was almost three years ago, and I can now say I LOVE my job. God has taught me so much about Himself, about me, about Audrey, and about my husband through these last three years. I still have so much to learn, and want to grow in this calling of mine. I have days when I long for peace and quiet, time to myself, want to hide, or will scream if I have to repeat myself ONE MORE TIME. I'm not the most patient of people, I do have quite the temper,I don't handle change well, and I don't seek God's advice when I most need it...but for some reason He's always faithful. He always helps me through, He is always there. I couldn't do it otherwise. I know without a doubt that this is where God has called me. I am meant to be a full-time Mom. It's not just for my children's sake, but for mine as well. Never, in the years I was a full-time accountant, could I look back and see God so clearly working in me or in someone else through me. Never, sadly, did I pursue things consistently in prayer or have desires so strongly as I do now. Although I have my days when I'd love to be sitting in a cube listening to the sound of the radio, rather than a little person chatting away - usually repeating herself until acknowledged. I truly don't want to give up being the person that little one wants to tell such "important" things to, and miss out on the great opportunities God has given me and called me to. I can honestly say, I want to do this Mommying thing. I want to continue reading books to learn more about my content area, especially from wise, older, Christian Moms. I eagerly look for new ways to encourage, teach, train, and love my children. All this may mean finding one, two or several new gray hairs in the process, but I will never regret it. My children's hearts are ultimately in God's hands, but my prayer is that I will be one to rise up to His challenge for my life and be His instrument in their lives.

I recently read an older post from Home Sanctuary that was so encouraging, it reminded me why it's so important to have older women, mother's, sisters who have gone before us to help us along our way as young Mom's learning in the process. I am so appreciative to those people who have gone before me, and are helping me along my way...even if they are just a few years ahead.

I am especially thankful God has shown me that MOM is who I want to be.

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Audrey is the talker in this house, from the time she wakes up to the time she goes down. She'll be 3 this month, and has much to say.

While chasing Daddy through the aisles at Kohl's...

Audrey: I'm gonna get you
Daddy: OH NO!! (running further away)
Audrey: I'm gonna ge-...oh look bags....(passing the purse section)
Daddy: (shaking his head) You're such a girl.
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After leaving Audrey's room for the night...

Audrey: Daddy?
Daddy: Yes, Audrey (answering back from the stairs)?
Audrey: I'll be right here.
Daddy: Ok
Audrey: I won't go anywhere
Daddy: Ok
Audrey: I'm just sleeping
Daddy: Ok, go to sleep now.
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While telling me how she will help with the baby.

Audrey: I can change the baby's diaper, and give the baby milk.
Me: Yes, you will be a big help.
She then proceeds to get her baby doll's bottle and lift up my shirt.
Me: What are you doing?
Audrey: I'm going to feed the baby some milk. (through my belly button)
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Check out more Tiny Talk Tuesday's at Notbefore7.

The Love of a Child

I love bedtime with Audrey. It often makes me want to snuggle with her all night. Our bedtime routine includes bath, brushing teeth, reading books, singing songs, finally praying. After praying she typically wants Albert or me to stay with her, and then she will recap the day from her perspective. This is the best. I love hearing how her little mind interprets things. This is also the time she will talk about things that are on her mind; things she afraid of or things she's excited for. It's the moment in her day when she unwinds....by talking. It's also the most precious time, she has mom or dad's undivided attention. We talk a lot about God loving us, and being there for us (even if we can't see him). I often walk away from these times realizing I need to learn the same lessons she's learning: patience, comfort - God is always with us, not to fear. It's also these moments that make those impossible days, when I wonder why children are called blessings, all worth while and they really are blessings. I love my child, and I am so excited for these moments to come with two.

Poison Ivy update

Just to give you an update from Monday's post...

I was able to go to the doctor Monday afternoon, desperate for anything that would help - even if it meant steroids this late in my pregnancy. Thankfully, by that point I was actually seeing progress. Although the swelling was very evident, I was able to see through my right eye...progress. Because my body was starting to respond to the topical creams I was using, the doctor encouraged me to continue for another day to see if there would be continued success, but gave me a prescription just in case. I praise God that I have not had to use the prescription (therefore avoiding putting steroids into my body), and the poison as well as the swelling have continued to heal. I have been able to get much better sleep, although not fully through the night...but that comes with the territory at 9 months pregnant.

As seen, I DID take the picture, to many peoples encouragement. However, it was after my worst moments, so it'll only serve as a reminder of how badly I am allergic to those three leaf weeds.

Tiny Talk Tuesday

Ok, I know it's Wednesday, but I was a bit preoccupied yesterday to join in, so here goes anyway...

Audrey is the talker in this house, from the time she wakes up to the time she goes down. She'll be 3 this month, and has much to say.
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Audrey has been really into "feelings" she hates when we're sad, but she certainly lets us know when she is.

Audrey: I'm sad
Me: Why?
Audrey: Because I want my blanket.

Interpretation - I'm sad because I'm tired. What child wants to be tired...ie go to bed??
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On the night of the full moon. Audrey was EXTREMELY hyper.

Me: Audrey, what are you doing?
Audrey: Licking my leg.
Me: (shaking my head) Where did you come from?
Audrey: The Depot
(meaning home depot - hmm....we'll let that one go for a little while...)


Check out more Tiny Talk Tuesdays at notbefore7, and add your own if you want to join the fun!