Who I want to be

My dear husband just created a post about his current job, which he loves. Check it out here. It inspired me to write about MY full-time job, a Mom. Now, I know in the months to come this will be changing, my regular routine of mom-hood will be thrown out the window and I'll be taking each day as they come. BUT, despite these changes I'll still aspire to be the best Mom that I can...raising my children to be God loving and fearing little and not-so-little people.

Albert and I were recently having a discussion about our jobs. He talks about his job, the love of it, often and is often found reading books to further himself in knowledge about his content area. I too love my job, and am often found reading books about my content area, and how to better myself while helping to train our children. Unfortunately, I didn't always love my current job. I wanted to desperately to go back to accounting, a job that required nothing out of the ordinary, came with routine, and there was even a policy manual put into place. I knew exactly what to expect in a day. I think I can count on one hand, probably less, the number of times some "wrench" was thrown into my day unexpectedly. I loved it, although I must admit I didn't read books about this content area....BORING! Go from that to complete chaos, needless to say, I didn't handle it well. I wondered why God had done this to me, and if there was any way I could get out of this Mommying thing...I just wasn't cut out for it. With time, much crying, and prayer God lead me through one of the most challenging times in my life, having a child.

That was almost three years ago, and I can now say I LOVE my job. God has taught me so much about Himself, about me, about Audrey, and about my husband through these last three years. I still have so much to learn, and want to grow in this calling of mine. I have days when I long for peace and quiet, time to myself, want to hide, or will scream if I have to repeat myself ONE MORE TIME. I'm not the most patient of people, I do have quite the temper,I don't handle change well, and I don't seek God's advice when I most need it...but for some reason He's always faithful. He always helps me through, He is always there. I couldn't do it otherwise. I know without a doubt that this is where God has called me. I am meant to be a full-time Mom. It's not just for my children's sake, but for mine as well. Never, in the years I was a full-time accountant, could I look back and see God so clearly working in me or in someone else through me. Never, sadly, did I pursue things consistently in prayer or have desires so strongly as I do now. Although I have my days when I'd love to be sitting in a cube listening to the sound of the radio, rather than a little person chatting away - usually repeating herself until acknowledged. I truly don't want to give up being the person that little one wants to tell such "important" things to, and miss out on the great opportunities God has given me and called me to. I can honestly say, I want to do this Mommying thing. I want to continue reading books to learn more about my content area, especially from wise, older, Christian Moms. I eagerly look for new ways to encourage, teach, train, and love my children. All this may mean finding one, two or several new gray hairs in the process, but I will never regret it. My children's hearts are ultimately in God's hands, but my prayer is that I will be one to rise up to His challenge for my life and be His instrument in their lives.

I recently read an older post from Home Sanctuary that was so encouraging, it reminded me why it's so important to have older women, mother's, sisters who have gone before us to help us along our way as young Mom's learning in the process. I am so appreciative to those people who have gone before me, and are helping me along my way...even if they are just a few years ahead.

I am especially thankful God has shown me that MOM is who I want to be.